Peacemaker

Conflict is a reality of friendship. The question is not whether conflict will happen, but when it does happen, how will it be handled and will it be handled well? The world abounds with examples of poorly managed conflict. Friendships are needlessly lost over miscommunication. Families are torn apart by stubborn refusal to give ground. Churches are split and rendered ineffective because a few people get overly determined. Conflict is dangerous and can be highly destructive, but it can also be something else. Conflict, when handled well, can be highly effective and good at bringing about a greater unity and understanding amidst those involved. Marriages thrive when they have passed through the tunnel of conflict and come out the other side. The bonds of friendship are strengthened when people go toe to toe and gain greater understanding of the other. Churches, too, are strengthened when people discuss their differences or wounds in an effort to root out the cancer of bitterness and unforgiveness. It’s for these reasons that it’s no surprise that Scripture says a great deal about conflict management, forgiveness, and accountability. “Blessed are the peacemakers,” Jesus said, “for they will be called children of God” (Matthew 6:9). With Scripture’s abundance of teachings on conflict, one would think healthy conflict management would abound amongst God’s people. And to be sure, it often does, but not always. Engaging healthy conflict takes a great deal of energy and fortitude, which leads involved parties more often to find the easy escape routes of gossip, isolationism, and bitterness. But these escape routes are lethal. Unchecked anger leaves us with colored lenses through which we see everything—especially the people around us—far differently than we would if that anger were removed. Scripture’s teaching on engaging and healing conflict is both clear and compelling. Familiarity with these teachings is essential, only to be exceeded by the importance of practicing them.